the courage to "put my big girl panties on" and venture out into this world

I woke up one morning a couple weeks ago and realized that the person that i have been lately is not who i want to be. now understand that i have great ideas and i am a great counselor for others and their problems, i am a great advise giver. If i could only take my own advise sometimes that would be nice.the realization that some where along the line i got lost and allowed myself to settle for just being. settling for less than i desire would be foolish and instead of focusing all my thoughts and efforts to the people around me, its time for me to do as i have NEVER done before and focus on me. "change your mind and your life will follow" i love that quote (don't remember who said it). This is the first time in10 yrs that we are a 2 car family and both my boys are in school. So not only do i have 6 whole hours , i now have the capability to leave my house. I can do anything i want.that brought on alot of anxiety for me.i felt like i had no faith in myself,I'm my own worst enemy.i always think that just because i don't know how or i have never done it before that "i couldn't do it".
step 1- I started my efforts in acknowledging my bad habits such as yelling, and trying to teach myself to better manage my anger. step 2- trying to learn about healthier eating and better choices to make each bite count. step 3- say what i mean and mean what i say, follow through so my family will take me seriously. step 4- gaining control of the daily cleaning tasks. step 5-be involved
i have not yet accomplished each step completely and every day is a step forward in learning to live...on the road to a better me,i wake up every morning now with the determination of learning to live and create within myself a person that i want to be in all areas and aspects of my life ....I'm already the luckiest girl around, i have an awesome husband who i have been with for 10 yrs now we have 2 beautiful sons .i had gastric bypass surgery in 2009 and have lost 220 lbs..I'm grateful for each day and count my blessings regularly